On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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