My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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