Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
