i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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