He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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