I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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