Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
