Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize