My first STD was from a foam party
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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