god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I enjoy the company of your penis
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