So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So many bounce houses so little time
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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