As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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