So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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