TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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