what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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