Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
