If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
