The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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