so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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