You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
