just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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