Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize