Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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