Its about making memories worth repressing
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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