ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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