dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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