You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
