Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
