is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize