We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Alive.
So much puke
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
