Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
