Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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