You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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