you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
