At least make sure they are 18
Why
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
