He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
