I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
