I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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