my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize