I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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