please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
