I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize