he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
