Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize