he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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