Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
