If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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