week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
