I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I will be naked everywhere
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
