And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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