Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Sorry about my life...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
