is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
