Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
