Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
