I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
