Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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