There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
